Everything is changing. I am a thirty four year old women with much ambition and thirsty for life. I love learning new things. Different but wonderful things are accruing in almost all aspects of my life. One big change happened when I found meditation three years ago. Meditation opened up a new world to me that previously was asleep. Its like I woke up from a long deep sleep. My meditation practice helped me change my perspective in a more positive way. I allowed me to see a clear vision to where chaos shows up in my life. For example: I have two beautiful children, a girl who is 12 and a boy who is 7. They add to the cause of chaos but they also keep me grounded at the same time. School has started so all of there activities are in full swing (chaos). I love watching and cheering them on when I’m free (grounded). I work to cook a great home cooked meal (chaos) and we all sit together, talk together and find time for a nice bike ride (grounded).
Another BIG change for me happened this past february, I enrolled in my 200 hour Power Yoga Teacher Training, OOMG what a transformation of ME. I went from a shy, insecure woman with not much of a voice (chaos), to being more strong, powerful and full of life (grounded). I also met some pretty awesome people along the way, (my fellow teacher trainees.) I committed to this whole process to live outside of my comfort zone and to challenge myself in places of chaos. Today, I feel proud of how much I have grown, I have not only learned how to teach yoga, but use the computer, pick out music, turn up the heat, and BE a part of a wonderful community. I learned to kick out the insecure woman with no voice. Another BIG change was I became open to knowing EVERYTHING in life is a learning process, and it happens just as it should, even the chaotic and hard moments.
Putting this to the test came sooner rather than later. This past July one of our family dogs passed away suddenly from cancer, we didn’t know she had. I felt intense sadness to have to put her down. Her death forced me to realize just how precious life is, I once again felt reminded to not take my life for granted and get grounded. Recently during one of my yoga practices the song LIVE Like You Were Dying came on. It really landed deep within me. I loved that dog and so did my family. Her death had a huge impact on all of us. Were we all LIVING fully right now, in the sadness of her loss? So in august I started searching for a new dog, deciding to take a BIG step forward. I felt nervous but excited about this decision because its like opening up to a brand new baby, loving fully all over again. Well wefound her! An 11 week old pit bull that our family has fallen head over heels for and her name is Charlotte.
Just when you think you are all finished with BIG changes another one comes. I have been married to Rich for 14 years. For our entire marriage my husband has worked shift work as a police/K9 officer. Shift work is hard on families because its long hours, nights and weekends. When he is off he needs to sleep odd hours. I had to take on most of the responsibility for family life with his schedule so erratic. Last month we found out he made Detective and that everything is about to shift and change. His new schedule is Monday to Friday administrative schedule. This will dramatically change how we show up as parents. We will share responsibility for the kids schedule, a full on partnership. This is also new for our marriage relationship as we will see each other more. I feel Happiness and Love.
I am learning and feel open to CHANGE. Some are difficult and some are so wonderful and make me smile. There is balance in this, there is purpose in this, there is freedom in this. I have opened myself up to these changes through mediation and hard work. This life is more then I imagined for myself and I am grateful to God for Grace and for providing me with so much.