I am nothing and it feels so damn good. You see, before leadership teacher training I had so many attachments they stuck to me like Post-it notes, and my body was covered. You know those neon little sticky papers that you stick to things? Yeah I'm talking about those. Those post it notes felt like prodding reminders of what I had to be . I had a post it note that looked like “poor me I work too much.” Another one said “Girl, you need layers of make up and You Tube videos of contouring to make yourself prettier.” A Post-it note for “stay quiet, your afraid of being heard.” A Post-it that looked like a BIG stack of excuses, another one that was always being late. Well, honestly all of those Post-it notes felt like a boulder of crap weighing me down. I felt like I was a lost woman at the age of 32. I wanted to rip those Post-it's off and uncover who is Raquel? I felt fear, real serious deep down fear.
The very first day of teacher training, we did an exercise that we listed all the things “I am”.... The leaders had us cross off everything that I Do, everything I Believe & everything I Have. THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT ON THE LIST!!!! I had a breakthrough, if I am not those Post It notes, did they really exist? If the slate is clean and I am pure white nothing, can I create all I want from that? HOLY SHIFT!
I couldn't have experienced that shift if I didn't feel supported by the leaders of SHINE and my peers in the training. The breakthrough was simply ; I am nothing. NO THING! When I am nothing there are no attachment roles, or characters I had to play. I can just show up as Raquel every day as my authentic self!!! I am not those post it notes. I am living a COMPLETE life. WHOA!
Now, I am not saying I do not like a nice Louis Vuitton purse here and there but now I know they don't define me. I feel FREE! The possibilities for me are endless. I can wear no make up and feel gorgeous. I can speak from my True North Alignment and be heard. I can show up on time and have time integrity. I can be a leader. All I have to do is show up as Raquel. I know I AM ENOUGH.